Open Sesame

OK. GMIL wanted to buy a new pair of slacks for church. At Sears. Only at Sears.

We have a Sears here. It's very small and only sells lawn stuff and appliances. The nearest Sears with clothes is in a town 45 minutes from here. Needless to say, wasn't making a special trip for that considering she's likely to change her mind once we got there.

Eventually I had to go there for something else so I told her she was going with us so she could get her slacks.

We get there and she heads off to the "women's" dept. Then wants to argue with me when I tell her she won't fit in anything in there. Had to show her that all of the sizes were plus sizes. Get her to the right dept. and agree with her that, gee, no, they DON'T seem to have any pink slacks (THANKFULLY!) today........... So I convince her to get black (wouldn't consider gray or tan) and she can't see for crap, so I ask what size.......she tells me.........'between a 12 and 14.' OK, I'm already irritated because we ran late because she couldn't manage to get ready in time despite the fact that she had THREE hours to get ready before we left the house. So, in my head I'm thinking I know she means EITHER a 12 or 14, but technically, there's no size BETWEEN those two on the racks. What I said was: Bull! There's no way you wear a 12 or 14. She insists she does. So I pick up a 12 AND a 14 AND a 10 and tell her to go try them on.

She goes in the dressing room and tries on the 12s. I see the door shake a bit....rattle......Rattle...........RATTLE......SHAKE...........RATTLE.................then,

"T.............................!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (my name)

I'm standing RIGHT there, I might add.

Me: Yes?

Her: Come open this door up!

Me: I can't open the door, Mawmaw.

Her: Well, why not?

Me: Because the lock is on YOUR side. Turn the knob. Insert me rolling my eyes here.

Ta Da

It works

Who'd have thought?


So she opens the door and is standing there holding up these pants that obviously want to fall off of her. I tell her that I told you you don't wear a 12 or 14, so now go back in there and try on the 10s.

Her: I'll wait right here.

Me: For what?

Her: You to get the 10s.

Me: They're in there with you already, try them on.

Her: Oh.

Yeah, they fit, if you're curious.

I know some of it is bound to be age related, but I'd forgotten until she moved in just how much of a dingbat she was. Remembering why her husband and daughter were in charge of everything before.